After years of dating off and on and going through the routines of meeting new people, you learn a thing or two about others (that's if you're paying attention).
But you also learn more about yourself (again, that's if you're paying attention). to things like what excites you or bothers you.
I Have a Confession to Make
I'm not the best with communication especially when it comes to what I think and feel. I tend to keep these to myself because these can anger people.
I'm often more in my headspace than I am in the actual present space. I'm always observing and taking detailed mental notes.
Details are critically important. Also being I tend to weigh everything for balance.
I'm judgemental, a chronic overthinker and over-analyzer but I've always paid attention to details others seemed to not really care about.
In time you'll learn as I did that certain details are more valuable than others.
When it comes to your relationships, details can tell you a thing or two about where things are at the present moment. I say 'present moment' because Eckart Tolle got me into paying attention to the present moment.
My mind's always racing from future to past and everywhere in between but in the present moment is where we reside.
It's always the present moment I have to remind myself of because after years of dating and relationships you can lose sight of what a healthy relationship is and can be.
Not one to blast my personal life all over social media. I've grown to respect and value privacy these days in light of all the hacking, data dumps, and other issues of our times.
Ever heard the saying that the best sign of a happy relationship is no sign of it on Facebook?
One of the things about casual dating, unless you hit a home run right off the bat is, you're going to meet a cast of characters but they're your cast of characters.
Some of your relationships will work while others will flop. Sometimes they'll fail because of you while some will fail because of the other.
This article isn't about shifting or assigning blame but rather pointing out that dating is going to allow you to contrast and compare.
Comparisons are a shortcut to help us identify quickly which is healthy vs unhealthy, for you and that's if you even care about what's healthy for you.
If you haven't found a healthy relationship, I hope you get a chance to experience one and that's if you're looking for one.
Also Before Looking For One
One should start with themselves cultivating healthier habits and lifestyle choices because that's what ultimately attracts another.
Healthy is subjective as your version may differ from mine but a few unhealthy relationships will teach you how to recognize when you have a good one.
When you find it, all there's left to do is ENJOY IT!